Rising from the Depths of A Writer's Loneliness

An everlasting friendship brings light to the darkness

There's a reoccurring darkness I trip and fall into as a writer. Not in the sense of immorality, but in feeling alone. Lonely. A single soul traversing across the sands of a desiccated topography. It's a solo business---this job of writing. Confined, daily. In a room. With a pen. Ink. Suffering. Slicing open my heart to peel back a meaningful story of human failings, hopes, severed connections, and rebuilding. The effect can weigh heavier than a thousand bricks strapped to my back.

Some days, I see a dim light. I follow the path, through a kaleidoscopic tunnel. My mind churning, churning. The tunnel widens. The dim light brightens. I make progress. The work feels good. Strong. Captivating. Dangerous. I grin wider than the Cheshire cat, knowing which way is up. I've unburied a truth in the passages of my written pages.

Other days, my fingertips crawl into a drawer here and there, reaching for a flashlight. A match. A tapered candlestick. But only the dark emptiness greets me. Nothing but the pressures of doubt, uncertainty, and my crumbling confidence. I let myself curl beneath a blanket of suffocating darkness----a countdown to giving up. Never will I finish my manuscript in a way that a publisher would offer me a contract. How dare I even try.

Hard those days are to overcome. I have to remind myself---alone as I am in this world of a writer---the importance of self-care. Regaining strength by immersing myself in nature. Walks at the park or along a woodsy trail. Perhaps seaside, or simply admiring seasonal flowers and plants and succulents in the garden section of Home Depot---a convenient arboretum.

When too many dark days cloud my existence, a certain friend tosses out a lifeline and knows exactly how to nourish me. Food is her specialty. An executive chef. A local small business owner. A kind and generous human being. Immediately, she brings me into her realm and works her magic. Serving me delectable food pairings that awaken my heart, my mind, my soul. She is the elixir to my loneliness. Feeding me while listening, intently, as I exfoliate my scars, wounds, and insecurities one stubborn layer at a time. She is the calm waters to my turbulent and chaotic ship. She is Rosie, and she is my truest, genuine, most trusted friend. Always unpacking the stones that weigh me down.

No matter the day or the direction the gusty winds take me, Rosie is aboard. She rights the whipping sails. Steers the oars. Mutes the Sirens atop the rocks of Scylla, and brings me home. Pen and ink pressed to paper. Suffering transformed into love. A greater love knowing that she is here, there, everywhere---for me.

#foreverfriends #bestpals #selfcare #feelthelight #kindness #love